Just over the last few weeks, in several conversations, the same theme has emerged:
“I feel I did the wrong course. What I want to do is different from what I’ve studied.”
“I have anxiety and I cannot sleep. I wish things were different.”
“I am in this job, and cannot quit. Because how do I find something comparable?”
” I wish I could lose 50 pounds. But it is so hard to lose weight.”
These are the times when we find ourselves “stuck”, when change is hard and feels impossible. We wish we were somewhere else, a different place, a different time, in a different relationship, a different body. That we had done something different in the past, so we wouldn’t be here today. That only if we could make someone do what we want them to do, our life would be so much better. That only if we had something – a new status, a new possession, a new development in a relationship, a new job, we would feel OK.
That the present moment is not OK.
I am familiar with these feelings. I have struggled too with this thinking. The feeling of being wronged, being misunderstood, being in a place where I don’t want to be, or think I deserve to be.
My words below are the opposite of a recommendation for passivity. Instead they are a clarion call for action with compassion and courage, for beginning, and beginning again and again, not giving up.
Imagine, yourself, “stuck.”
Recognize you are suffering. That you are worthy of compassion, sympathy, love and caring, just like you would help a friend who came to you with such a problem.
Accept the situation you are in. The present cannot be any different, because we can’t go back and change the past.
The future, however, doesn’t have to be the same as the present. That, you, yourself, decide your destiny. Change lies in your hards, and you need the courage to start and move, even if it seems impossible.
Most importantly, to make a change, even if it is a small beginning. To be consistent with this change, even if you fail and have to start again. The biggest danger is to stop because you did not see any results. Your responsibility is just for action, without negativity or blame for failing, with kindness and compassion for yourself.
Don’t let others get you down with criticism or find fault in your progress. You have the responsibility to act, no matter what.
Finally, every day is a new start, a new opportunity. Make the most of it. Just begin again.